Ah yes, bold predictions. What a beautiful thing they can be.
So the thing that’s always been beautiful to me about a “Bold Prediction” is that if you get it wrong, which lets face it, you probably will, no one really cares. It was kind of just meant as a joke, so no one’s shocked it didn’t happen. But if somehow you get the pick right … you’re a legend.
It’s like that feeling when you have a song stuck in your head non stop and you turn the radio on and BOOM, the song playing is the song you’ve been thinking of all day. Like of all the songs in the world, what are the odds that the one you’re thinking of comes on next. It’s a little spooky huh? How life works like that.
Well that’s sorta how it feels when you get a bold prediction right. Like of all the complete nonsense I could’ve predicted, this actually came true. And then you get to prance around saying “I said this” and “I said that” and then slowly come to a realization that no one really cares about your bold prediction but you.
Any who, get ready to eat a bologna and ‘Jaguars make the playoffs’ sandwich with a side of ‘ Philip Rivers throwing for 5000 yards’ potato chips, and an icy cold ‘ Carson Palmer wins MVP’ soda.
By the way, I seriously and boldly predict all three of those things I just said. Enjoy!
We’ll start with the reigning Super Bowl champs. Sound good? So despite coming off of one of the best defensive playoff/Super Bowl performances by a team in NFL history, I say the Denver Broncos miss out on the playoffs this season . In fact, I say they miss out badly. I say they get less than 5 wins doing it. As good as that defense is, they’ve lost a few pieces of the core band they had last year, along with the fact they now have a rookie quarterback who’s name sounds like a brand of Soup or some kind of cherry energy drink. Come on, you can see it too right? “Paxton Lynch Chicken Noodle Soup” or maybe something like “Paxton LYNCH– A Citrus kick of Energy!” That’d stock the shelves right up. Point here, we don’t know how good/bad Lynch is going to be, and in my eyes, a good team starts with a good quarterback. Sure Denver’s defense did an amazing job last post season, but they had Peyton Manning . Washed up, noodle arm Peyton Manning, but hey, still Peyton Manning.
Despite his brutal four game suspension, and tricky schedule towards the end of the year, I predict Patriots Quarterback, Tom Brady will lead the league in passing touchdowns , magic number being at least 40 TD’s . My reasoning behind this? For one thing, his weapons. Brady hasn’t had this good of a receiving squad since the ’07-08 season, and even that could be tossed around for some debate. Add Chris Hogan , Martellus Bennett , and a handful of other young, speedy receivers to an already talented core, consisting of Julian Edelman , Danny Amendola , and Rob Gronkowski , no one’s going to stop em. Add that plus the fact the Pats have always been a “pass first team”, (especially when they get close to the end zone), along with the obvious point that Tom Brady’s pissed. Brady knows he shouldn’t be suspended those games, and when he comes back week 5, he’s gonna let the rest of the league know. Expect nothing but domination from number 12.
I’m saying Tom Brady throws for 40 Touchdowns this season, despite a 4 game suspension.
You know in Forest Gump, the famous scene when he just starts running from those kids and Jenny yells the famous line, “Run Forest Run!”? Of course you do. Well that’s kind of what I’m expecting from Brock Osweiler and Lamar Miller this season. Despite switching over to a new team, and only hitting 1,000 rushing yards once in his four year career, I say Houston Texans Running Back, Lamar Miller leads the league in rushing yards this season, with over 1,500 yards . My reason being, he’s on a team with an average offensive line, a head coach that loves to run the ball, Brock Osweiler as their quarterback, and has been waiting to explode since he joined the league in 2012. Miller never got the amount of carries he deserved in Miami, so I feel like he’s gonna run wild when they hand the kid the rock and tell him to go.
Despite not having their starting Quarterback, Tony Romo , for the season, I’m saying the Dallas Cowboys win the NFC East division, with a 13-3 record , even more specifically. I say this because they still have a pretty good defense, a so far, very impressive young back up quarterback in Dak Prescott, and a top three offensive line. That offensive line’s so good that even a high school kid could hit close to 1,000 yards rushing behind them. And I’m not talking about like a high school running back. Nah man, I’m talking about like an average kid you see in a high school hallway. Just picking his nose, with that Pink Floyd ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ tee EVERY teenage kid somehow seems to have. You hand that kid a Cowboys helmet and a football, he’ll do some damage behind that O-line. Seriously though, Ezekiel Elliot and Alfred Morris are going to tear the ground apart this season. Which brings me to my next prediction.
Despite being hyped up the Ying-yang, I’m gonna say that Cowboys rookie running back, Ezekiel Elliot has less rushing yards than former Redskins back, and current ‘Boys back, Alfred Morris . Yup, you heard me. Look, that offensive line can do magical things. Wonderful and magical things. For crying out loud, Darren McFadden finished fourth in rushing yards last season! Anyone, and I mean ANYONE could carry the ball behind that offensive string and find success. Sure Elliot’s got the glitz and glamour, and has tons of potential,but don’t expect to Morris to go away quietly and play RB2 while Zeke has all the fun. Morris has been in the league a few years, and will do a fine job in Dallas.
Despite getting trampled by the Carolina Panthers in the NFC Championship game last January, I say the Arizona Cardinals have a perfect regular season, going 16-0 . Call me crazy, call me nuts, call me whatever, but don’t call me Shirley. This team is good. They’re pretty much the most perfect team in the league when you examine it under the microscope. Talented, top 10 quarterback in Carson Palmer. Nifty running back trio in David and Chris Johnson , along with Andre Ellington . LOADED receiver core with Larry Fitzgerald , Michael Floyd , John Brown , and JJ Nelson . Outstanding, and super underrated defense. And to top it all off, led by a top five head coach in Bruce Arians. Schedule is a little tough, but hey, if there was a team to go perfect this regular season, my money would be on them.
I’m saying it’s going to be tough to beat these birds. 16-0 looks about right to me.
Despite only playing one season, I’m predicting that Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback, Jameis Winston , has more passing yards, and touchdowns than Cam Newton , Andrew Luck , and Russell Wilson . My reason behind this, Winston had a great rookie season last year, and has a great supporting cast to build around him. Along with that, stats show that guys like Cam, Russell, and Luck all had better second seasons than they did their first. Gonna be pretty tough to have better stats than last years MVP, along with Wilson and Luck, but Winston’s got the ceiling for just about anything at this point.
Despite being known for being the backup, I call that Steelers back up running back , DeAngelo Williams , has more rushing yards than starting running back , Le’Veon Bell . Williams will start the first three games for Pittsburgh, due to Bell’s suspension, and I see him crushing it those first three games. I mean, looking back at last season, Williams had more yards, but only because Bell missed the first two games, and then was injured for most of the year, so it is very possible. But Williams gets the start against the Redskins, Bengals, and Eagles while Bell sits at home watching. Three teams he can run all over. If Williams puts up huge numbers in those weeks and Pittsburgh goes 3-0 (which I expect them to do) he’ll remain the starting back most likely. And if that happens, he gets more carries than Bell. You do the math. More touches = more yards.
I’m saying this guy has the most rushing yards in black and yellow this season.
Despite, well being them … I predict the Cleveland Browns QB/WR duo of Robert Griffin III and Josh Gordon have more Yards and Touchdowns together than the duo of Aaron Rodgers and Jordy Nelson . My reason? Who else is RGIII gonna throw to? The man’s not gonna take as many chances to scramble out of the pocket and take it himself, and Gary Barnidge can’t catch everything. Griffin’s always had a great deep ball accuracy, which is perfect because Gordon’s one of the leagues best deep threat receivers. They’ve already looked good together in the preseason, and when Gordon’s four game suspension comes to a close, expect big things to come from these two, who both could be competing for a “Comeback player of the year” award.
Despite missing eight games last season, I predict Chargers Wide Receiver , Keenan Allen finishes the season with more receiving yards than … wait for it … Antonio Brown . YES I DID. I SAID IT. There’s no question how great Antonio Brown is, but here’s an interesting stat for ya. Last season before getting injured in week 8, Allen was top three in targets by a wide out, which of course translates to receptions, followed by good receiving yards as well. If Allen can stay healthy this season, along with his quarterback, Philip Rivers, he could very well wind up having more yards than anyone this year. We all know how much Philip Rivers likes to throw, and especially now that he has a shiny new toy in Travis Benjamin . Expect Rivers to throw it even more than usual, and expect Allen to be on the receiving end for most of it.
Ok, so despite the fact he’s a running back, and has never had more than 1 receiving touchdown in a single season, I boldly predict that Vikings running back and future hall of famer, Adrian Peterson , has more receiving touchdowns than any of the receivers on his team . Yeah, I don’t even know what I’m writing anymore, but think about it. No more Teddy Bridgewater , so cue Sam Bradford who likes to dish it to his running back a lot. And he’ll especially do it now that he has the best running back in the league by his side. When times get tough, you give it to your best player, so when Bradford’s seconds away from a sack, be ready for him to dish it away to the teams best player for a few yards, maybe even some end zone run ins.
Sure these picks are all very unlikely to happen, but that’s the point of a Bold Prediction. Something that could happen, but like 99% probably won’t.
Thanks for reading, enjoy what should be another wacky NFL season!