One of the great things about sports is the debates that you can have with friends, coworkers, family and fellow fans. Not surprisingly that’s one of the bad things about sports…everyone has an opinion and most of us think our point of view is the only one that counts.
Opinions and sports are what drive sports radio unfortunately. I say unfortunately because most sports radio personalities spend most of their time being negative…and yes I completely understand the unbelievable irony of ME calling someone else negative. They bitch and complain and if they take calls (not all shows do) they encourage others to agree with their opinion.
Other than ESPN’s “Mike & Mike” who recently learned they are going into the National Association of Broadcasters Hall of Fame and Jim Rome, I have no desire to listen to sports talk radio and instead turn my Sirius/XM radio to the Raw Dog Comedy channel 99 or Smooth Jazz channel 66. Make what you will the fact that those two channels are complete opposites of each other.
With all this said I don’t have a sports-talk radio show, but I do have opinions. I am going to magically make myself Commissioner for the day in different sports and tell you what I’d change. Let’s begin.
NFL – Job one the day I show up at the Park Ave HQ of the NFL is to call the head of IT and get them to go on the Deep Web, find me Silk Road 4 and put a hit out on Dan Snyder. Not because he won’t change the name of his team but because my Redskins have suffered long enough with Synder’s inept ownership. Next on the agenda is get rid of the overseas games. Yeah it’s cool to be able to watch an NFL game as soon as you wake up Sunday morning but the travel is brutal on the teams, not to mention the PR hit America takes every time we send the Jacksonville Jaguars over to England.
MLB – First things first, Pete Rose goes into the Hall of Fame…immediately. He’s not a good guy but neither was Ty Cobb. Rose bet on baseball and got caught. If you don’t want him to be involved in baseball anymore fine, but he’s the greatest hitter of all time and played like a mad man. Dude belongs in Cooperstown. Second, I would get rid of all the “honor- beanings”…you know when a pitcher purposely hits an opposing player because his teammate got hit. That kind of “tit for tat” BS is why there will never be peace in the Middle East or even East LA. A retaliation toss gets you a 50 game suspension, no appeals. Just once I’d love to see a batter storm the mound with his bat after getting drilled in the ribs. Actually that happened in the minors several years ago.
NBA – First things first, on day one I change the record books and make by beloved Dallas Mavericks NBA Champions for 2006. Everyone knows they got screwed when Dwyane Wade shot 187 free throw attempts in that final game. Next item up, I would seed the playoffs with the top 16 teams regardless of Conference. The fact that we often see at least one losing team in the playoffs each year is a stain on the sport (are you listening NHL?). If Conferences are that important then give the number one seed a buy and have everyone else play an opening 3-game series. Item #3 if I replaced Adam Silver would be to fine every player who didn’t hit 65% of their free throws. This would be aggregated on a weekly basis, with fines going out every Monday morning. None of us like, “Hack a Shaq” (although “Waterboard a DeAndre Jordan” would be acceptable) but it’s a strategy that works only because multimillionaire basketball players don’t have the self-respect to improve an important part of their game.
NHL – This one is easy…I will spend 100% of my time mocking Canada for not having a NHL Champion since 1993. Since then 3 teams from LA have won Lord Stanley’s cup. It’s hard to take Canada’s national pastime seriously when you see things like this.
MLS – Totally honest here. I’d ring up my good friend Donald Trump and ask for the blue prints of how he destroyed the USFL. I can forgive my sons for watching soccer because they at least watch good soccer…you know the kind where the players have the greatest WAGs in the world and the fans do this. Fun fact, when you search for videos of “soccer fans rioting”…you get back over a quarter million results! Asking soccer fans to behave is like asking James Harden to play defense.
NCAA – The organization that oversees college sports doesn’t have a commissioner but it does have a President. If I was President I would immediately dissolve said organization. It’s something that is past its prime and outlived its usefulness. You know, like the Iowa Caucus. But before I deep six the NCAA I would put a cap into half the bowls games. There’s no reason for 40+ bowl games! Losing teams are getting rewarded and many universities are losing hundreds of thousands of dollars because they are forced to pony up money for any unsold tickets. As much as I rag on living in Oklahoma, vacationing in Shreveport, LA is worse.
Bill Becker is the Founder and “Chief Creative Dude” of WeekendSportsUpdate.com. You can follow him on Twitter @weekendsportsup.