So “The Donald” made a pledge this week to not run for President as an Independent which made me thing of two things, (A.) I haven’t harassed Trump’s douche bag attorney on Twitter in several weeks (note to self…add reminder to phone to blast Michael Cohen) and (B.) What are some sports related pledges I’d like to see? In no particular order, here is what I came up with including one non-sports related pledge for good measure…
That Daniel Snyder pledges to eat nothing but gravy and ham sandwiches. Hey, eating a ham sandwich changed the face of music in the 70s (kudos if you get the urban legend reference) and it might be the only way to change the Redskins horrific fortune on the field and keep them from being a reality “freak show” on TV.
ESPN pledge #1A: That they pledge to NEVER return Curt Schilling to the air. He’s the male equivalent of Ann Coulter and doesn’t deserve to have his job back. The only way he should be back on TV is on “American Greed” to showcase his failed video game company.
ESPN pledge #1B: Give Brent Musburger one of the two National Semifinal games for the College playoffs. No knock to the SEC Network but Musburger is one of the two greatest college football play-by-play announcers of all-time (Keith Jackson being the other) and deserves to have a national audience.
That USA Network pledges not to make us wait until next June to explain WTF happened in the season finale of “Mr. Robot.” I’ve watch the episode twice (3 times if you count watching it in reverse) and I STILL not sure who’s real and who’s not. If Sam Esmail won’t spill the secrets to the story line, at least calm our nerves and confirm that the Joanna Wellick character will be back for Season 2 (Note to self…learn to speak Danish by June 2016). #WeAreFsociety
That my Mavericks pledge to give DeAndre Jordan the welcome he so richly deserves when the Clippers come to town on November 11th. (Note to self….book room at the WDallas Hotel with “line of sight” to ACC).
That more college marching bands pledge to get creative like Kansas State’s band did last night in their NSFW dig at their in-state arch-rivals. That’s what makes sports so great! Not that we get to cheer for our favorite teams but that we also get to hate other teams. I hated the Spurs long before my ex-wife became a fan.
That my co-contributors on “RealBallInsiders” pledge to let me know if I try to pick someone in tonight’s Fantasy Football draft who is no longer in the NFL. That happened to me 21 years ago, the only other time I’ve been involved Fantasy Football. The morons I played with back then happily took my money, then told me AFTER the draft I picked two guys who were no longer playing. Given we have the Internet now and I am not working off of a 3-month old magazine this shouldn’t happen but I just wanted reassurance.
Nebraska Cornhuskers pledge to teach their defensive players to KNOCK THE DAMN BALL DOWN on Hail Mary pass attempts! Also, I need them to help me find a copy of the broadcast of the November 22, 1980 game against Oklahoma. Actually I don’t even care about the game footage…I’m just interested in just one sideline shot.
And finally, ESPN pledge #2: That they pledge to return my calls/emails and give me my rightful place on ESPN 7 at midnight Eastern on Sunday nights. OK there isn’t an ESPN 7 but there is an ESPN 3 and tonight they have the Mexico vs. Puerto Rico basketball game on TWO SEPARATE CHANNELS! My wit and humor are clearly better programming choices. Keep the Spanish version of the game and add Weekend Sports Update.